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Value Voters, Bitchez!
By Jeff Fecke | September 17, 2007
So I’m watching the Value Voters Debate, and we’re opening with a Hymn, “Why Should God Bless America? She’s forgotten what He is…Why should God stand behind her?” Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, but the these people are batshit insane.
Now we’re into Chron. 7:14: “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” Otherwise, I guess it’s the pit.
6:44 Now Rev. Rick Scarborough of Vision America is praying. He asks God to help them by selecting the leader — check that, the man — He has already chosen. But what if He’s chosen Hillary? Or Barack?
Incidentally, let me note that this was very much not an ecumenical prayer.
6:47 Our panel of questioners is Buddy Smith of the AFA, some woman, a Jew, and Doug Souder, and Phyllis F&%#ing Schlafly. What, Leslie Unruh was busy?
6:48 Alan Keyes! He’s saying our rights come from God, and we cannot hope to survive unless we give ourself to God. We need to “hoist on high the banner of our Creator God.” Oh, God, I’ve missed you, Capt. Neckbeard.
6:49 Duncan Hunter believes God still loves this nation. Frankly, I don’t know as that will endear him to this crowd.
Ron Paul thinks the most important promise a President makes is his promise to obey the Constitution. He says individuals have the right to decide about virtue and excellence, and Government involvement in that is tyranny. I don’t know as the crowd agrees.
Sam Brownback angers Virginians by referring to Vince Lombardi as a Packers coach. What about his tenure with the Redskins? Brownback says “every life is sacred,” the best place to raise a child is between “a mom and dad bonded together for life,” and faith. Sen. Brownback, as a father raising a child whose mother and father are not bonded together for life, let me just say…go Cheney yourself. Says we have to get back to “In God We Trust.”
Now John Cox. John Cox? Who the Hell is John Cox? He’s talking about corruption and partisanship, he says he’s an outsider, the only one who’s run a business. He says he’s ashamed of the GOP majority, wants to get the party “back to its core,” need an outsider.
Tom Tancredo says we’re destroying our nation from within, primary the liberals. We will die as a country if the right side doesn’t win the clash of civilizations. Clinton had sex, and thus destroyed the nation.
Mike Huckabee is the front-runner in this debate; makes a joke that Chris Matthews wouldn’t open with a prayer. Insinuates that the media is run by a bunch of godless heathens. Then says he can’t understand why our government is polarized. Well, gee golly, Mike, maybe because you just said that unless I believe prayer should be everywhere, I’m a second-class citizen.
6:57 Moderator notes that Giuliani, Thompson, McCain, and Romney are not here. I don’t blame them; nothing good is going to happen tonight for anyone trying to appeal to the middle.
Question One: Marriage is all about women and men, states have a special interest in man-woman couples that stay together to raise children. Do you support the FMA?
Huckabee: Absolutely! Also, “I declared a state of marital emergency in my state.” Have the covenant marriage law. Opposed to “marriage penalty.” Increased child taxpayer credit. Supports and would lead support for FMA.
Tancredo: “Yes, I would do everything possible.” The government doesn’t have authority to tell us who we should care about, but can restrict marriage to only those who can have penis-vagina sex, and by the way, if you’re married and don’t have kids, hello America. We’re “one kooky judge” away from having “gay marriage forced on the rest of us.”
Cox: I am married and have a 2-1/2-year-old. Marriage is about protecting children, and gay people want marriage recognized so their sick twisted gay love is recognized. We need kids, lots of kids. And marriage is a good thing, and thank God, because the anti-marriage forces are strong in America.
Brownback: I supported that Amendment in the Senate. Bush should have supported it. 36% of kids born out of wedlock. What that has to do with gay marriage, I’m not going to tell you.
Paul: Set a good example. I’ve been married 50 years. Opposes FMA. “We have fallen into a trap” with having to redefine. “Look it up in a dictionary.” DOMA is enough. This is a state-level issue. “True Christians believe that marriage is a church function not a state function…we should define it.” I actually agree with that 100%, and look forward to the Unitarian church unifying marriages between homosexuals as soon as that’s legalized.
Hunter: I don’t have any idea what the hell he’s talking about. He’s talking about some kid who had her dad abandon her in the ocean but tell her to float, and then she was saved and something.
Keyes: Gay people are coming to eat your brains! Your brains! And Mitt Romney loves gay people! He is “singlehandedly responsible” for gay marriage! Our government has “defaulted on one of our most unalienable rights.”
7:06 Here’s an ultrasound, and obviously this is a person, so therefore Roe v. Wade has collapsed. So how are you going to end abortion?
Keyes: Support Right-to-life amendment. “It’s simple, it’s clear, it must be done.” Would issue an executive order to use government to defend life in the womb. Would certainly have a litmus test.
Hunter: Pass the “Hunter Bill,” which states that life begins at conception. “If a judicial candidate can look at a sonogram of an unborn child and not see evidence of a valuable human life, I will not appoint him to the bench.”
Paul: “Life begins at conception.” Is “surprised that I don’t have more co-sponsors for the Sanctity of Life act.” Would remove jurisdiction for abortion laws from the courts.
Brownback: “I want to be the president to appoint the justice that is the final vote we need to overturn Roe v. Wade and end this night of wrong.” Roberts and Alito are good. “There is not in the Constitution a fundamental right to an abortion.”
Cox: “This issue tears this country apart, and it shouldn’t.” As a Christian he believes in the right to life. We need to talk to America about responsibility. His mom would have aborted him if she could have, so he’s against it. Wants judges that will only interpret law.
Tancredo: “All of us would appoint judges who would overturn Roe v. Wade…There will be a litmus test there.” Will talk about the unborn as people.
Huckabee: “It’s obvious that all of us on this stage are pro-life. I also think it’s obvious why there are four empty podiums here tonight.”
Question: The Muslims are coming! Aieeeeeeee!
Huckabee: This is a theological war, and that’s why we have to match fundamentalism with fundamentalism. “War is about will. Whoever chooses to leave, loses.” Green Lantern Theory, holla!
Tancredo: We need to defend our borders to keep the Muslims out, because we all know how many Mexicans are Muslims.
Cox: This is the steepest threat we’ve faced, just like World War II. You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means. Also, Iraq is about oil, and we need the oil!
Tancredo: This will last as long as the fight against Communism, only longer. “We have to contain and confront Iran.” “The world is much flatter than it’s ever been before.” I think he owes Tom Friedman loyalty.
Paul: We have to be sane, and recognize that damaging civil liberties for one damages them from us for all. More guns on 9/11 would have saved our country(!?!?!?)
Hunter: “Don’t blame America first,” Ron Paul. Let’s finish “my border fence.” “We have to leave Iraq in victory!”
Keyes: This all is really about abortion. The first thing we need to do in order to end war is to end abortion. No, really.
Incidentally, Alan Keyes has shaved the neck beard. Will this be like Sampson shaving his locks?
Question: You down with G.O.D.?
Keyes: Yeah, you know me! We cannot remain free if we do not acknowledge the authority of God, and we must “lay ourselves on the line for truth, no matter what the cost.”
Hunter: “I don’t belong to any organized denomination…I’m a Baptist.” That joke was better when Will Rogers told it about the Democratic party seventy years ago. Notes Ben Franklin’s support for the “sparrow speech,” says it led to prayer before the Constitutional assembly. Is this true? Sadly, no!
Paul: God is the “Prince of Peace,” and I vote for peace.
Brownback: I vote for peace through superior firepower.
7:30 Cox: I was not raised with religion, but God found me through some crazy guy on the el in Chicago, and I’m the type of guy who actually listens to crazy guys on the train. “Faith is nothing without works.” Tell that to the Calvinists.
Tancredo: My pastor once spoke about the change we all have when you accept Jesus as your lord and savior. We’re all sinners and evil and fallen, and only through grace are we okay. And his minister one time left his dogs on their own when he went on a trip. What is it with conservatives and inability to properly care for dogs? Jeebus, I know kennels are expensive, but don’t you have a friend or something?
Huckabee: I was a timid kid in Hope, Arkansas. Wait…Bill Clinton is from Hope. Are you telling me…Oh my God…MIKE HUCKABEE IS BILL CLINTON’S ILLEGITIMATE SON! It all makes sense now…somehow….
7:33 Phyllis Schlafly asks, is there a secret plot to unify America with the Mexicans in a secret plot to brown people aieeeeeeeee!
Huckabee: I loved It’s a Choice, Not an Echo. This country can’t yield sovereignty to another country ever, for any reason. Damn, there goes NATO. Have to focus on the Constitution.
At this point, my server lagged, and we came back at Ron Paul, rambling about the Constitution. Boy, I wonder if Tancredo supported this? I guess I’ll never know.
Hunter: Something about Canada and Mexico, and now he’s on about China. Oh, and he’s against the NAU.
Keyes: I would undo it all. It is the surrender of our borders, evil trade to our workers. Betrays the people. “We have elites who no longer listen to us.” And we’re “losing our own sovereignty because we have turned our back on the sovereignty of almighty God.”
And now we have a mystery guest! Is it God? No, it’s Paul Weyrich. “What do you intend to do to counteract the homosexual agenda?
Keyes: We must defend the “natural family.” We have to “restore the understanding of what marriage is.” “The family preceded the government.” Now he’s raving like a lunatic. I can’t believe that Keyes didn’t lose to Obama by more.
Hunter: “I like Alan’s idea, that the most important thing is that we can support that bedrock…of the American family. I think beyond that, we have important institutions that we must support and fortify.” No gays in the military, because gay linguists might save our nation from attack, but they also might come on to you! No gays in the boy scouts!
Paul: “All rights are individual, we don’t get our rights because we’re part of a group.” If people “do no harm, you don’t try to do much about it.” Opposed to all affirmative action, opposed to “hate crimes” laws.
Brownback: What Hunter said, and the Democrats love gay people, and I hate them for that! Also, hate crimes legislation must be fought against, because it will keep people from speaking their belief against homosexuality while violently murdering people.
Cox: We don’t need more rights! What about transvestites who want to be teachers? That means we need to support home schooling! Or something.
Tancredo: What everyone else said. Also, vouchers!
Huckabee: “I’m convinced that the reason the homosexual movement has become strong is that the traditional family has become weak.” So to all homosexuals reading this: you’re welcome. My divorce has paved the way for you to have some bare minimum of rights. That, or people just realized at some point that there’s no reason not to give actual humans the rights of humans.
Oh, God, we’re only 1/3 of the way through! I’m going to get a drink. I’m going to need it.
7:52 The “Speed Round” All but Hunter and Paul support impeaching judges who are insufficiently Christian.
Require federal funding to neither perform or actively support abortion. This is the “Mexico City” plan, and this confuses and bewilders Mike Huckabee. And now we’re arguing about stuff. Everyone supports this.
Oh, and everyone will defund Planned Parenthood. Hooray!
Is multiculturalism destroying America? Unanimous — yes!
Will you oppose amnesty and guest workers in America? (Schlafly really hates the Mexicans today.) Sam Brownback votes no, saying that there might be some places where guest workers work. Everyone else hates on brown people.
In more important news, Cliff Floyd homers, giving the Cubs a 2-1 lead. The magic number is 13, remember. Hey, Mark DeRosa homers — 3-1!
Duncan Hunter opposes amnesty? And guest worker programs? Get the Hell out of here! Next you’ll tell me Tom Tancredo opposes it!
8:00 Should we privatize Social Security? Unanimity — although Duncan Hunter took a loooooong time to vote.
Oh, snap, Judge Roy Moore in the hizzy!
Would you support bypassing the judicial system in order to eliminate judicial checks on religious liberty? Everyone supports it! That’s right, every Republican supports eliminating Judicial review in cases involving religion. As a religious minority, I’m not horribly frightened by this. I’m terrified.
Also, Duncan Hunter is wondering what part of the U.S. Constitution prevents the government from referencing God. The answer, Duncan, is the First Amendment. Thanks for playing.
Everyone will appoint only anti-Roe candidates.
Gordon James Klingenschmitt, a Navy chaplain who was booted from the Navy for disobeying orders because he insisted on praying “in Jesus’ name.” Will you sign an executive order allowing us to pray according to our faith? They all vote yes, but I’m guessing the vote would be different if the questioner was named Iqbal Mohammed.
8:06 Do you oppose the fairness doctrine? 100% yes.
You know, I’m actually opposed to the fairness doctrine too. Talk radio, really, is a conservative medium. It’s top, down, here’s the orders, now follow. Let them have it. Liberals will take the internets.
Do you oppose universal health care? It’s worded confusingly, but I think a yes means opposition. Every single candidate does oppose it.
8:09 A woman who was arrested for a hate crime asks, will you oppose hate crimes? All will.
Incidentally, the woman said she was just exercising her Constitutional rights. And she was — by keeping others from exercising their Constitutional rights.
Some kid asks, will you balance the budget? Everyone votes yes, including the senators and representatives who cast actual votes in congress to cut taxes and drive the budget deficit skyward.
The wife of one of the border agents who shot a man in the back asks, isn’t it terrible that my husband’s in jail? All the candidates think it is. For me, I’m thriilled.
Ron Paul opposes a “Teri’s Law,” but everyone else supports it.
Rick Scarborough in the house! Asks, “Can’t we do something about all this porn?”
The truth? No. We can’t. Ron Paul recognizes that, everyone else is all in favor of going after the porn industry because…something.
Snowflake baby parents! You know, I’m thrilled you have kids, and I wouldn’t want them used in experiments because they’re, you know, alive and stuff. However, back when they were not so much alive? Would have been fine with me.
Tom DeRosa of the Creation Studies Institute! Dare I believe we’ll hear the words “teach the controversy”?
Will your office support the teaching of myths along with evolution? A unanimous yes!
8:19 Can’t we expand indecency laws to cable? Ron Paul says no, everyone else says yes.
Stephen Bennett — yes, that Stephen Bennett — asks if we can strip federal funding for teaching that gays are human. A 7-0 yes!
Let’s push abstinence-based education! A unanimous vote for putting funding for ABE on a par with contraception-based programs.
A former Christian slave from Sudan asks, will you do anything about this? Everyone says yes, except for Ron Paul.
Oh, God, the Thomas Moore center is here. Will you protect the right of the government to erect crosses? Again, a 7-0 vote.
Some guy who hates gays asks if the candidates will let him hate gays, and they all say yes.
Pastor Mark Holick, who advocated for a candidate, wants to be able to do so and not lose his tax exempt status. Everyone thinks that’s fine, primarily Ron Paul, who wants to eliminate the IRS.
Oh noes! Mexican truckers are coming into America! Look, I work in freight. A goodly percentage of American truckers don’t read signs or obey our laws. That’s not an objection. Everyone wants to keep the Mexican trucks off the road.
8:27 Can we just say, once and for all, that Israel should be able to kill all the Muslims, and it’s okay with us? I’m kidding about that question. Actually, no, I really am not
Incidentally, everyone supports this; sadly, it would be the same at a Democratic debate.
“Would you support a private health care approach that promotes behavior that rewards moral lifestyles?” Translation: if you’re fat, smoke, drink, or have sex, you’re gonna pay more. Everyone votes yes, but Mike Huckabee, who paid for the gastric bypass surgery, hmmm?
Funny — it turns out that when you turn Iraq into a seething cauldron of hate, some of that hate turns on Christians! Shouldn’t we protect them? Ron Paul says no.
Christians are being beaten and expelled in the Muslim world. This is true. Of course, if these people had their way, mosques wouldn’t be allowed in America. Ron Paul says he won’t do anything about this. Surprisingly, so does Duncan Hunter.
“Will you promise to oppose all UN treaties that could be used to support abortion as a human right?” The entire field votes no! I’m kidding, of course.
A girl who couldn’t learn in a public school did much better at a Christian school with lower standards. So shouldn’t we have vouchers? Everyone says yes.
An Iranian expat says, shouldn’t we stop letting evil Muslims into our country on student visas? Brownback says limits yes, outright ban, no. Everyone else says: ban ‘em!
China is bad to Christians. Yes, and they’re bad to Buddhists, too, but strange — nobody ever mentions that.
Judge Roy Moore puts in an encore, asks about the mythical NAFTA Superhighway, and everyone opposes it.
8:39 Oh, God, we’re still only 2/3 of the way through. Just kill me now.
A mentally disabled girl who claims she was the victim of a failed abortion asks Rudy Giuliani a question. Rudy Giuliani is not here. Nobody else says anything. Awkward!
Phyllis Schlafly asks Duncan Hunter, “Don’t you hate those Mexicans and other foreigners?” Hunter replies, “Yes! Especially the Chinese!”
I’m really amazed at this point — Schlafly appears to hate foreigners even more than she hates women!
Pete LaBarbera asks Mitt Romney a question about his history of being pro-choice and not opposed to gay rights. Mitt Romney is not here. So…this was a big waste of time.
Ugh. I really am going to get a drink now. I’ll be back in a moment.
Okay, back. Now someone’s asking Fred Thompson a question. Well, he’s not here, so I guess I’ll answer for him with words from Law and Order: “It’s not enough to do good… You gotta be seeing doing good.”
And now a question for John McCain! We get it, they didn’t show up. Come on, you brought Wally Cox out for the night, ask him a damn question! This is beyond moronic.
Hey, E. Normous Cox is asked a question! “Who the Hell are you?” Cox responds, “I’m a guy with less of a chance than Alan Keyes. What does that tell you?” Also, argues that few Democrats have ever worked in business. Gee, I know about 100,000,000 Americans who would be surprised to learn that.
Huckabee is asked, you raised taxes in Arkansas! How dare you! Huckabee responds, yes I did, and I have to actually balance the budget, which means, hey, you may actually have to pay taxes. Tell that to Gov. Timmy, Mike. Also argues for a flat tax, which is a tax cut…for the wealthy.
Tom Tancredo is asked, what should we do about legal immigration? Tancredo replies, “I believe we need a ‘time out.’” That’s right…Tancredo believes we should stop all immigration. Well! That won’t stop illegal immigration. That will guarantee illegal immigration. “We need a time out until we no longer need to press 1 for English, and 2 for Spanish.” Yes, it’s official — Tancredo hates Mexicans.
9:00 Ron Paul is asked, do you oppose laws? Paul says that libertarianism is about a small government, blah blah blah.
Alan Keyes, by the way, is insane. I just thought I’d mention that. Just said that Barack Obama “stands for the most evil positions the Democratic party” takes.
Oh, thank God, we’re done with round 3. Now just the nutty closing statements, and then I can go listen to Ani DiFranco, download some pornography, pray to my pagan God, and have an abortion. I’m going to have to do all that just to cleanse my system.
Huckabee: Says we should take an offering. That’s appropriate, as this has been an overwhelmingly Christian service. Huckabee cites his ministry as a reason he should be elected. Says he loves this country. Just once, I want to hear a candidate say he hates this country. That was the theme of the first hymn tonight, wasn’t it? Says he’s a Governor, and therefore should win. Says we are literally fighting for our nation’s soul. Dave and Sara at Orcinus are gonna have a field day with this.
Tancredo: Proud to be on this stage, because of the integrity. Tancredo, for instance, has a good, honest hatred of Mexicans, he’ll be the first one to talk about it. Wants people to “take back” their country from…I dunno, Xerxes or something.
Cox: Who am I? Why am I here? I don’t actually have a good answer to that, I’ll admit it.
Brownback: Fight! Let’s fight for life! The family! Our values! Meh. Oh, and did you just say, “As my kids would say, ‘this place [America] rocks!’”? That’s incredibly, incredibly lame.
Paul: I like a small government, and we can’t force our values on people, and sometimes people get testy when you occupy their nation. The Neocons suck! Gold standard! Yeargh!
Hunter: Yada yada, I fought in the war. Well, actually I didn’t, but I served in the military, so I’m ahead of Cheney. China is evil!
Keyes: Oh, he has four minutes! The crazy could be unbelievable!
Keyes says, “We talk about liberty but we don’t want to look at what our founders believe about that liberty.” Now is quoting Jefferson to show that God gives us liberty. This is like me quoting Marx to show why capitalism is teh roxor. Keyes says he stood with Roy Moore! Without the Ten Commandments we’ve “let go the very foundation of everything we lay claim as a free people!”
Abortion is evil! Families with no children are an abomination! “We do not fight for victory, but we shall fight until victory is won! And go to AlanKeyes.com for Christ’s plan for our victory.” Holy cow, Alan Keyes, I’ve missed you! You’re like Tancredo time Hunter plus Charles Manson on the grand craziness scale. I will move to Canada if you’re elected President. Actually…maybe Europe. Canada’s probably a bit too close.
And finally, in proof that there truly is a just and merciful God…the debate ends.
So first, who’s the winner of the debate? First off, the clear loser is the American people. That any of these people is even a potential candidate for the nomination of a major political party is truly a terrible thing to contemplate.
As for the candidates themselves? Well, taking into account audience, I’d say your winner is Ambassador Alan Keyes. Oh, sure, he was bizarre and insane, but he was bizarre and insane in the exact same way that his audience was. Huckabee acquitted himself well, and was far more memorable than Sam Brownback — Huckabee clearly is best positioned at this point to win the votes of the crazy wing of the silly party.
But the biggest winners, by far, were Freddie of Hollywood, Multiple Choice Mitt, Mayor 9/11, and John the Baptist. By not showing up, they managed to avoid a litany of answers that will get them branded insane should they get to the general election. And if Huckabee somehow gets the nomination, this debate will come back to bite him, hard. Good night, and good luck.
Topics: Election 2008 | 40 Comments »
September 17th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Thank you for covering this event. I don’t have the stomach for handling evangelicals, so I couldn’t bring myself to watch.
It sounds like Ron Paul is coming out of this well. I agree with you that if churches want to decree whoever they want married, constitutional guarantees of freedom of religion mean that they’ve got that right.
September 17th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
I had no idea you were into S&M.
Huckabee: “It’s obvious that all of us on this stage are pro-life. Yeah, that must be why he never raised a finger to stop the death penalty in Arkansas.
September 17th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Damn! I can’t believe I am missing this. Kudos to you. Alan Keyes announced his candidacy just in time didn’t he?
September 17th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
I love the whispers from producers in the background!!!
September 17th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
This shit is pissing me off.. Multiculturalism is destroying the unique American tradition? Oh please! No lasagna, tacos, or Chinese for any of them!
September 17th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
Yeah, I’d be in favor of multiculturalism based on food alone.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Now I wish I had Sky Angel or whatever it is called. Has there been any talk of showing it on other Christian networks? I so want a copy of this video. I did a quick search but can’t find anything
September 17th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
Pastor Klingenschmidt!!!! Now that is a name.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Boy, “the speed round” goes horribly slow.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
OH NO! My living will would be useless and now they want to get rid of the porn, except Ron Paul! I know this is a biased debate, but c’mon couldn’t they even try to ask one balanced question.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Ok… I can bear no more. Good luck Jeff and keep the booze flowing!
September 17th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
“Klingenschmidt” is German for “bell smith”, one who forges bells.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
The only good thing about this is that it shows where the base is, far, far away from anything the founding fathers ever imagined.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
I’m really amazed at this point — Schlafly appears to hate foreigners even more than she hates women!
?
This amazes you?
September 17th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
Well, only because she hates women so much.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
Pete LaBarbera asks Mitt Romney a question about his history of being pro-choice and not opposed to gay rights. Mitt Romney is not here. So…this was a big waste of time.
I disagree. I’m quite sure Ms. LaBarbera of the Gay Leather Fetish knew full well that Mitt wasn’t there. What he was doing was making sure all of the fundies knew that Mitt was pro-gay before he ran for president.
That’s no waste of time.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Well, only because she hates women so much.
Ah. I see your point. However when I look upon her all I can see is a bottomless well of hatred, so I can imagine there’s room in that ugliness for other people than American women.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Tell that to the Calvinists.
That faith without works is nothing? It was the Calivinists who put that on the map in a major way. The Lutherans (& most especially Martin Luther himself) who didn’t know what to do with that assertion.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
This is a more difficult task than linking up to wingnut blogs and mocking them, which I do regularly. Thank you sir! I suppose there will be YouTube clips, and I hope I will have the fortitude to watch them.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Yeah, you’re right, I realized that I got that backward later. But that’s the problem with a liveblog. It’s onward!
September 17th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
I was really looking forward to this, but came in during Alan Keyes’ finale sermon. Thank GOD I missed this thing! I appreciate your play by play – far more entertaining and palatable than watching the real thing (and yet it still makes me woozy). I feel so sorry for Ron Paul who has to run in a party loaded with these religious whackos! Now I need a drink…
September 17th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
[...] Jeff at the Moderate Left was a brave soul and live-blogged the Value Voters Debate on the Sky Angel Network. [...]
September 17th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
blogenfreude says, “This is a more difficult task than linking up to wingnut blogs and mocking them, which I do regularly.”
Well, clearly, yes. It requres thought, an activity for which your regular routine of ridicule, lies and slander doesn’t allow time. You could put the entire right together and not have as much hate as there is in three leftie bloggers.
September 18th, 2007 at 5:56 am
How do you report on a ‘debate’ where none of the candidates on the podium really disagree and all have no chance of even winning a primary?
We could study you for future generations. Assuming none of these guys win and there are future generations…
September 18th, 2007 at 5:57 am
PS: …as much hate as there is in three leftie bloggers.
Which three?
September 18th, 2007 at 7:04 am
Very impressive, Jeff. The fact that you didn’t swallow any and all pills near you proves you are a strong, brave man. May Jesus bless you.
–WKW
September 18th, 2007 at 7:44 am
Let’s push abstinence-based education! A unanimous vote for putting funding for ABE on a par with contraception-based programs.
Considering that contraception-based programs are not being funded at all, I would agree with that wholeheartedly.
September 18th, 2007 at 8:47 am
“That’s right, every Republican supports eliminating Judicial review in cases involving religion”
Nice Generalization. You are a Hack.
September 18th, 2007 at 8:49 am
“It’s top, down, here’s the orders, now follow.”
As opposed to the Soros nation right?
September 18th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Nice Generalization. You are a Hack.
Every Republican on stage did support this. I agree it’s insane, but there you go. I assume you’ll speak out against that now, correct?
September 18th, 2007 at 9:14 am
“Yeah, I’d be in favor of multiculturalism based on food alone.”
Huh….
September 18th, 2007 at 9:21 am
“Every Republican on stage did support this.”
But that is not what you said. You said that “every Republican supports eliminating Judicial review…”
If you meant every one ON STAGE you should have said that originally.
Once again, you are a Hack.
September 18th, 2007 at 10:25 am
God of the Stupid
Dems have better Theatre then the Repubs.
The story line, the plot, the dialog, the actors.
Hands down the Dems entertain.
These christian Repubs with all their money
have a sort of Asylum on visitors day quality
to their plays.
Maybe because they believe it is real life.
Gotta be earnest.
Another Repub debate – the florida christian bunch
called the ‘Values Voter’
Watching the Debate, rah rah, sis-boom-bah.
Were so special, we are saved and you are not.
We go to heaven and you heathens’ will go to hell.
Sample question: Would you vote to ban god,
and therefore kill god in the process?
Please respond yes or no.
Which poison, the right wing religious self righteous smug
all american pie fly the flag, rah rah – stupidity.
Or the total outright smarmy lies of the dems.
It’s a matter of style, just style. Which style fits?
Both roads lead to total fascist enslavement.
I so prefer the dems stupidity over these repubs snot.
The way they hold their hands, bob their heads,
smile that forced grin with the sparkling glitter
shooting out of their eyes.
The trick is to get people to see beyond ‘Style’
and look were both roads lead – to the same end.
Both parties share the same desire to have the
government take care of their pet issues.
Some questions:
Would you make sure my sister Terry Shivo would not
have died starving in a country full of food?
All other candidates = Yes.
Ron Paul = No.
Would you make sure they don’t teach Homosexual values
in school?
All others = Yes.
Ron Paul – No.
Would you please please make the government do
everything for us, and make others live the way we see fit?
All others = Yes.
Ron Paul = No.
3 questions on Imposing trade sanctions for asshole nations?
All others = Yes.
Ron Paul = No.
They even addressed questions to the candidates that
did not participate.
The camera pans to the empty podium that displays the candidates name while they ask the question to the
phantom candidate. Fucking psychotic.
They drag out a 10 year old girl who was a victim
of an attempted abortion.
She addressed Juli Annie on his abortion stand.
Asking him what he thinks about his stand after seeing her.
(Julie Annie was not there, just his podium).
That was sicker than sick.
(Child abuse, according to their own rules. Someone should prosecute the parents who put her up to this.)
Couldn’t watch it anymore.
This group is out of its fucking mind. I think they
really worship the god of the stupid.
Idiots prayer:
“God bless me I know I could be smarter,
but I like being stupid because it feeds into
the Republican / Democrat divide.
And god you know you said you came to bring a sword.
God I am just trying to do my job in your holy fight
against Democrats.
(Well, really against all people, just using the Heathen Democrats.)
Because no one knows better than you that the Democrats, Liberals, and ‘TheGays’ are evil and need to be pissed off. I’m here to do your work.”
-Amen
-Beck
I confess – I’m an X dem voting for Ron Paul.
September 18th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
You can get a copy of the debate on DVD at ValuesVoterDebate.com. But if I were you, I’d plead poverty and see if you could get it for a de minimus contribution. You probably don’t want any more of your cash going to these theocratic brownshirts in tinfoil hats than is absolutely necessary.
September 18th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Pure libertarianism (Ron Paul) is also a fantasy that ultimately leads to totalitarianism.
September 19th, 2007 at 6:24 am
[...] Several GOP candidates took part in the Values Voters Debate in Ft. Lauderdale, FL last night. Mike Huckabee, Sam Brownback, Ron Paul, Alan Keyes, Duncan Hunter, John Cox and Tom Tancreepo hashed it out over the homosexual agenda, hate crime legislation (they’re all against it), Roe vs. Wade, gays, the proposed federal marriage amendment, gays, the multicultural attack on America and more stuff about gays. Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson and John McCain cited “scheduling conflicts” which prevented them from attending. “They have chosen that values voters are not good enough for them,” one of the organizers said. They have chosen. . . poorly. For the rest of you GOP candidates, you’re obviously giving equal time for nutjobs, so how about some equal time for nutjobs of the Geek persuasion? [...]
September 22nd, 2007 at 7:00 am
You can please the moderates all you want but that’s not what wins elections. If you waste all your resources on the moderates, which to do so you need to flip-flop on what you believe, you alienate your core voters. Democrats need to stay on the left and stop lying to please those also lying and saying they are independent when we know they are Democrats ashamed of the title. It’s fun to watch them squirm for a vote but it’s all in vain. You mock moral voters like they don’t matter, go ahead and keep doing it because when you ignore such a large core group of people you lose elections.
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:22 pm
[...] So Im watching the Value Voters Debate, and were opening with a Hymn, Why Should God Bless America? … . I dont know as the crowd agrees. Sam Brownback angers Virginians by referring to Vince Lombardi as a Packers coach. What about his tenure with the Redskins? Brownback says every life is sacred, source: Value Voters, Bitchez!, Blog of the Moderate Left [...]
December 10th, 2007 at 4:01 am
[...] Subway eatin’, gastric bypass havin’, gay hatin’, religion-card playin’, state-of-marital-emergency declarin’ yokel is, at present, in the driver’s seat for the Republican [...]
December 12th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
[...] I was going to keep my posting light this week but there was another GOP DEBATE, supposedly the last before the caucuses. The only thing that made this one any different is that someone let a true crazy on the stage. Alan Keyes SOMEHOW ended up on the stage with all the others. Unfortunately, he makes Huckabee look like a goddamn moderate. Keyes also got pissy at one point because the lackluster droll moderator, Des Moines Register Editor Carolyn Washburn, wasn’t calling on him enough. Hey, he got almost EIGHT minutes out of an 85 minute debate. That’s damn good for a man who hasn’t been at any of the others, unless you count the Value Voters Debate that was beamed into the heads of every good evangelical in the United States. (And Jeff.) [...]