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Breakfast — the Most Important Meal of a Campaign
By Jeff Fecke | April 11, 2008
John Cole brings us this dispatch about more nooz from the campaign:
I watch Hardball daily because I am a masochist, and I just learned from Chris Matthews that Obama “doesn’t do diners good” and doesn’t make that “regular connection.” Additionally, Matthews was mortified that Obama, when offered a coffee, declined and asked for an orange juice.
Important! What do the candidates have for breakfast, and what does that say about them as candidates? To discuss this most vital of all issues, I’m joined by Hardball’s Chris Matthews. Hello Chris.
Hi there! Ha! Oh, hey, that’s me! Look, over there — me!
That’s you all right. Okay, Chris, so I understand that you disagreed with Barack Obama’s breakfast choices.
It’s not me who disagrees with them, it’s Joe Sixpack, Eddie Lunchbucket, Fred…uh…Brownpaperbag. You know, the average American worker doesn’t want orange juice. He wants a hot, steamin’ cup of Joe. And I’m not just talking about Scarborough. Ha!
So apple juice is out, I take it?
Apple juice?!? You might as well go run for president of Canada. No real American drinks apple juice!
So what should Barack Obama have ordered?
Eggs. Probably poached, or maybe scrambled. Toast — and white toast, none of that yuppie wheat toast.
Jam on the toast?
Obama’s running for president, not Miss Congeniality.
Okay doky then. Now, on to Hillary Clinton. You said before we went on that you had a critique of what she ate for breakfast today.
Well, I assume it is, I mean, I didn’t see what she ate. But it had to be some sort of girl breakfast — you know, yogurt, tofu, stay-free maxi pads….
Chris, I don’t think that last one is a food.
Well, it’s for women, that’s all I know. Did I ever tell you about Carson? He used to have some fabulous babes on his show, let me tell you.
Yeah, Chris, you did. So anyhow, Clinton’s breakfast?
Oh, right. Well, I mean, women eat these things every day, so it will help her with women. But men don’t trust someone to run a country unless they can put down a six-egg omelet. ‘Course, Hillary could make some omelets for us, that’d be helpful.
Uh, Chris –
Kidding! Totally kidding about the sexist insinuation! Except I’m not.
Right. Okay, now John McCain…
Can you imagine his breakfasts, Jeff? They’ve gotta be on another level of levels. I bet he drinks those raw egg shakes, like Rocky did. You ever see Rocky, Jeff? That’s a heck of a movie.
Does anyone actually drink raw eggs? I thought that was bad for you.
Tough guys like McCain don’t get salmonella poisoning. No, he probably drinks those raw eggs, and then washes it down with some good old fashioned coffee. Black coffee, none of that sissy cream or sugar for him, no sir! And then he eats a raw steak, but halfway through, he goes out and grills it! Oh, what a man John McCain is, what a manly, manly man.
Chris, you okay?
Why do you ask?
No reason. Anyhow, so you think McCain’s breakfast connects him to regular people.
John McCain is regular people, Jeff. For one thing, he’s a man. Second, he’s white. And third, he’s a man. I mean, case closed, Obama and Clinton can’t even touch that kind of regular person vibe.
Right. Okay, well Chris, I just have one last question — if orange juice is so anti-American, why doesn’t McDonald’s stop serving it?
What? Where?
McDonald’s.
Huh? I’m not familiar — is that the new bistro in Alexandria? I’ve heard there are long lines to get in, but the swordfish is amazing.
Chris Matthews, everyone! When we come back, more critical campaign coverage: did Hillary Clinton order a chili dog and ask for it without onions? The shocking truth, after this!
Topics: Barack Obama, Hillary Rodham Clinton, John McCain, Media | 5 Comments »
April 11th, 2008 at 11:20 am
he’s just pointing out Obama won’t drink coffee cause he’s a Muslim and can’t have caffeine!!!111ELENV!
April 11th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I’m going to side (if only somewhat) with Chris Matthews, even though I certainly agree with the assertion that this is a rather superficial issue, particularly given the gravity of this presidential campaign season.
But the fact is that such things as the “coffee moment” do matter, whether we want them to or not, in close election contests. Many people do pay attention to whether or not these candidates come across as an “average guy/gal” in addition to their unique political skills.
For instance, in industrial rust-belt states like Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Michigan (all potential swing-states come November), a large perecentage of often (but not always) blue-collar people who think of themselves as “normal folks” want to feel as though these candidates understand what it is they’re going through as they maneuver their way in an increasingly-rickety economy.
Obviously, policy stances are the most important aspect of dealing with this at a national level, and therefore we ought to place the vast majority of our attention on them, but a lot of people want to be able to relate to their potential leader(s) in a more human, everyday way. (It’s a very anti-monarchical, “American” notion, that….)
So the next time my favorite candidate, Senator Obama, heads to a diner, he ought to accept the coffee, and ask politely for a small orange juice, too. (He can quickly drink the juice and then sip his coffee as he wanders the establishment and chats with people.) Who knows–he might win a few borderline votes that way.
April 11th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Rew, Muslims are pretty OK with the whole stimulants thing. You’re thinking of Mormons.
Interestingly, Mitt Romney would have had to decline the coffee as well.
April 11th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Rew, Muslims are pretty OK with the whole stimulants thing. You’re thinking of Mormons.
This is true, but I’m not sure Matthews knows that.
And Hasslington, if that’s true, then our nation deserves President McCain. We’ve earned it.
April 11th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Jeff, I generally agree with and share your sentiments.
I’d much rather it not be the case, given that this is an increasingly small, interdependent, and complex world, but I think most of the evidence points to the sustained superficial nature of presidential electoral politics, even in the post-September-11th era.