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Carrie Prejean Totally Masturbating On Sex Tape1!!1!1!!1! LOLOMG!1!111!
By Jeff Fecke | November 13, 2009
First off, let me note that I hate Carrie Prejean as much as the next sentient human.
That out of the way, it’s time for me to defend Carrie Prejean.
As you may have heard, former Miss California USA-slash-anti-gay activist Carrie Prejean has a sex tape that’s gotten loose, and perhaps “several more” in the hopper. (No, I’m not linking to stories; keep reading, you’ll see why.) This is, of course, totes hilarious, as Prejean was trying to build a career around moralizing while still being a normal human with feet of clay. This tape, as I read from various liberal blogs and see discussed on liberal talk shows, is a tape of Prejean masturbating that she sent to an ex-boyfriend at some point. The ex-boyfriend is now distributing the tape, and telling stories of how Prejean allegedly wanted him to say she was underage when she made it — leading Michael Musto to opine waggishly that she’s just a typical girl, wanting to look younger than she is.
Hee hee, ho ho, sigh.
You know why Carrie Prejean wants us to think that tape may be illegal? Because she doesn’t want everyone and their twin sister to have video of her masturbating. Why? Because she didn’t release a video of her masturbating for worldwide distribution. She sent it to her then-boyfriend.
Now, yes, Prejean has been involved in moralizing. And here’s where I’m supposed to say that she has this coming, having the temerity to be a sexual being while criticizing others for their sexuality. But you know what? I’m having trouble believing that. Because while Prejean’s opinions on same-sex marriage may be wrong, it doesn’t therefore follow that it’s okay for someone she trusted to break that trust by sharing private videos with the public. Indeed, on the moral spectrum, I’m having trouble seeing why Prejean should be embarrassed by the sex tape, and a whole lot of reason to think that her ex-boyfriend is a major league asshole who women should avoid like the plague. Men too, for that matter.
Guys? It’s me, Jeff. Let’s say your wife, girlfriend, lover, friend with benefits, or friend without benefits is nice enough to send you a tape of herself in flagrante delicto. Guess what? She didn’t sent that to you and anyone you feel like forwarding that to. Unless your best friend, your preacher, your mom, Harvey Levin, Joe Lieberman, or J.K. Rowling was copied in on the email,1 you shouldn’t send it to any of them without first seeking permission from the young2 lady in question.
The reason, of course, is that this woman is choosing to risk a bit of her privacy to give you a momentary sexual thrill — perhaps many, depending on how lonely you are and whether or not your girlfriend goes to college out of state. You owe it to her not to run to your roommate and say, “Hey, look what this girl sent me!” Why this is so should be blindingly obvious — what said woman sent for your consumption may not be something she’d want her mom, her high school math teacher, Kevin Sorbo, or the crowd at an L.A. Lakers game to see. She sent it to you, personally, because she likes you and trusts you enough that you won’t go sending it to someone else. If you go sending it to someone else, that proves that you’re a scumbag who can’t be trusted, and while the woman may be guilty of not seeing that quickly enough, the only real jerk in this picture is you.
You see, it’s like sex. If you and your girlfriend are having consensual sex, that’s fine. If you invite your buddy in unannounced to start having sex with your girlfriend too, without clearing it with her? That’s rape. No, selling smutty pictures of your ex-girlfriend to TMZ isn’t rape. But it’s rape’s evil, less-reviled cousin, and it’s in the same moral ballpark. And just because we like to put the fault back on the Carrie Prejeans of the world for sending these tapes in the first place, the fact is that their privacy is being violated, while the ex-boyfriend in question is lauded for said violation. A moment’s foolishness in the name of lust or love is understandable; a willful betrayal of trust in the name of lulz or cash is reprehensible.
It’s sick and wrong. And it’s nothing to laugh about, even if the victim in this case has been moralizing about other things. For all her wrongness, I don’t recall Prejean arguing that LGBTQQ individuals should have their nude, intimate photos and videos released to the world. She’s wrong on marriage. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to laugh when she’s violated.
–
1They may have been. Hey, I don’t judge.
2At heart. As long as you’re legal, I say feel free to send sexy videos to your heart’s content, no matter how old you are.
Topics: Feminism, GLBTQQ Rights, Sexual Assault | 8 Comments »
November 13th, 2009 at 4:26 am
Jeff, thank you so much for this. The whole thing has made me uncomfortable, but I haven’t been able to put my finger on why. You’ve totally nailed it with this post, though.
Just because I find her politics reprehensible doesn’t suddenly make violating her sexual privacy somehow okay.
November 13th, 2009 at 8:16 am
You are right, of course, about the violation. I don’t really care that she made a fun little video, I don’t judge her for that. Good for her, and him at the time (though he’s proven to be an asshole). A little spice never hurt anyone, and usually helps!
I do, though, get a massive kick out of the hypocrisy. I love seeing that moralizing piece of shit sweat out all these interviews, backpedaling as fast as she can to keep her christianist-bigot-street-cred alive in the eyes of the right wing “men in power” who can keep getting her on Fox News. You know, the ones who don’t give a shit about her as a person, and are just using her as today’s hot little conduit for wingnuttery. She’ll be gone in another year, used up and tossed aside.
That will be funny.
November 13th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I really do appreciate the entire article – except the first part.
I don’t think you really hate her, and I certainly don’t. I’ve never met her, and for all I know she might be a really nice person that’s a lot of fun to hang with. I happen to disagree with her completely on an issue I think is pretty important, but I don’t see that as a reason to hate her.
If I were Miss California, would I mouth off on an issue I felt strongly about, no matter how inappropriate it was to my title? You BET I WOULD! It’s what I DO, and I’m not judging anyone for something I know I’d do. Of course, if I were Miss California, there’d be a lot of other things seriously wrong with the world … the sky would probably be Black Watch Plaid … well, anyways …
So there’s no reason to take any joy in her personal humiliation and also no reason to hate her, in my book. I think she’s terribly wrong in her opinion on Gay Marriage, but I do not know her as a person – just a series of glowing dots on a teevee screen. Call me old fashioned but there’s not a lot there for me to have a strong feeling about one way or the other.
November 13th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Carrie Prejean would make the perfect running mate for Sarah Palin!!
November 13th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Why would you hate her? Seems like a big investment to make. I think your hating her reveals a great deal of unpleasantness about your self that you should think about. Who else do you hate that doesn’t deserve it?
November 14th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
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