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Thanks
By Jeff Fecke | December 29, 2009
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who’s wished me well over the past day. I obviously have had better days, but all things considered I’m feeling fairly positive about the outlook for the future.
I’ve done a lot of reading in the last day, and one thing that I am grateful for, other than the support of friends and readers, is that I’ve been exposed to feminist thought. I know, it seems strange to bring that up in terms of testicular cancer, but I’m serious. One of the recurring themes I’ve seen in my readings is the concern that losing a testicle will make one “less of a man.”
This isn’t a silly fear; we metaphorically refer to manly gumption as “having balls.” We talk freely about men being “neutered” or “castrated” when they’re silenced or marginalized. The testes, even more than the penis, are the metaphorical seat of manliness in popular culture. And so for many men, the loss of a testicle, even in the service of preventing death from cancer, is a traumatic psychological experience.
Fortunately for me, I’ve been exposed to the idea that what defines a person is not their gonads. I am no more “manly” with two testicles than I will be with one, and if cancer takes that one someday, I’ll still be no less manly. Who I am is not dictated by my genitals. And while there are no doubt a few MRA types who will find my demicastration appropriate, I will simply remember that I know an awful lot of humans who have never had testicles, who nevertheless embrace life without fear, who exhibit all the best of “manly” characteristics — bravery, loyalty, intrepidity — despite not being men at all.
And so I know that the loss of a testicle doesn’t make me lose my identity, any more than the loss of my gall bladder has made me a different person. That knowledge is a gift. Yes, it’s scary to face the potential of cancer, and I’m not looking forward to surgery. But at least I do not need to fear that I am going to come out of surgery somehow less worthy than I was before.
Topics: Feminism, Testicular Cancer | 16 Comments »
December 29th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Very well put Jeff. May everything go as smoothly as possible!
December 29th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
I hope all goes well with the surgery. And that is a really good way to approach the loss of a testicle.
December 29th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Just like I’ve always said: sexism hurts everyone, not just women.
I wish you and your family the best. Illness is never particularly pleasant, but let it serve as a reminder to cut the fat from your life and make sure that every minute is spent in a way that is in line with your priorities. Go spend some time with your daughter and rejoice in the miracle that is modern medicine!
December 29th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Beautifully said.
You are a courageous person, and that is obviously serving you well.
December 29th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
You’re in my prayers. I really hope this is benign.
And thanks for being a man who realizes that women having strength doesn’t hurt you. Your daughter’s got a great role model.
December 30th, 2009 at 12:12 am
Since you’ve decided to make your post political (attacking “MRA types”), I’ll participate. Maybe now you’ll understand the vast misandry that exists in public policy where funding for men’s health is dwarfed by funding for women’s health. You might never have had to deal with this whole ordeal if your feminist sisters had devoted more resources to men’s health back in the 1970s and 80s.
December 30th, 2009 at 12:32 am
John, since my testicle up and decided to become cancerous all on its lonesome, I’m pretty much blaming it. I don’t care how much money we funnel into heath care, people are going to get cancer.
As for treatment and the male v. female divide, I’ll take an inguinal orchiectomy over a radical mastectomy any day of the week. Or, for that matter, a unilateral oophorectomy. And given a choice between testicular cancer and, say, breast cancer, there’s no question which one I’d rather have; testicular cancer has a 5-year survival rate of over 95%, while breast cancer is somewhere in the 60% range. About 40,000 American women will die of breast cancer this year; about 400 American men will die of testicular cancer.
Now, call me crazy, but given that the death rate from breast cancer is approximately 10,000% higher than that of testicular cancer, I would expect that we’d be spending significantly more to find new ways to treat it. If we manage to increase the survival rate of breast cancer by 25%, we’ll save 9,600 more lives per year than we would by curing testicular cancer.
Am I thrilled to be going through this? Absolutely not. But all things considered, my “ordeal” is a walk in the park compared to the types of cancers that primarily attack women.
December 30th, 2009 at 12:54 am
You can play cancer against cancer, but men die on average 7 years earlier than women. Women still get twice as much funding for health, and as yet there is no Commission on the Status of Men while there is one for women.
If any MRA takes pleasure in your suffering, in my mind they’re completely missing the point of being an MRA — to improve men’s lives. I wish you the best of health. Please stop speculating about who is rooting for you to suffer.
December 30th, 2009 at 1:10 am
Actually, John, I never said the MRAs would revel in my health issues.
I just said some would find me being down to one testicle to be somewhat appropriate.
After all, at that point I’m half way to a mangina.
;)
December 30th, 2009 at 2:40 am
Wow, you know that word?
December 30th, 2009 at 2:48 am
Been called it many times by many trolls.
December 30th, 2009 at 11:37 am
I don’t think I’ll be reading anymore after the revelation that you don’t have a gall bladder. Gross.
(Keep getting better)
December 30th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Much as it pains me to wish anyone well, good luck with this.
And if balls had anything to do with manliness, Ron Jeremy would have beaten Bush, Gore and Nader in 2000 by a landslide.
December 30th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Jeff- Along with the other commenters, I wish you only the best with your current challenge. You have brought a bright spot to me regarding the miserable past few years in this country. Because you don’t really know me personally, I can’t really call you “my friend”. However, reading your thoughtful analyses give me comfort that I’m not crazy. Thanks for helping us keep some sanity in this world!
December 30th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Some encouraging news… A study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (Dec. 18, 2009, by Geng Zhang) indicates that an antibody named F77 has been found to hunt down prostate cancer cells in mice and can destroy prostate cancer even in an advanced stage.
More info here
January 1st, 2010 at 12:20 pm
I’m late to the queue here, my best as you go forward with this. I hope for a quick and smooth recovery.